It is almost never the stranger on the phone
When people talk about scams against older people they picture the fake police officer or the bogus utility caller. Those exist and do damage. But most financial abuse comes from someone close: a family member, a paid carer, a helpful neighbour, a new "friend". It is the version that gets seen least, lasts longest and costs most — because nobody wants to see it.
The signs
- withdrawals or transfers she cannot explain, or explains confusedly and differently each time;
- a new person who is very present, offers to "take care of everything", and always goes to the bank with her;
- sudden changes: a new joint account holder, a new power of attorney, a rewritten will, a changed beneficiary;
- things going missing: jewellery, watches, cash in the house;
- unpaid bills despite the pension arriving normally — one of the most reliable signals;
- secrecy and irritation whenever money comes up;
- isolation: someone screening the calls, always present at visits, discouraging other relatives from dropping in.
One medical point explains a lot: in cognitive decline, the ability to weigh up an offer and smell a scam goes early — sometimes before memory. That is why someone who is still fluent in conversation can sign something absurd. And for the same reason she will defend the person taking her money: that is not stubbornness, it is the illness.
The mistake to avoid
Approaching her as though she is at fault — "you've been taken in, how could you?" — produces shame, and shame produces silence. From then on she will hide the letters, the calls and the statements, and you lose your only source of information.
It works far better to take the blame off her and put the problem outside her: "these people are extremely good at it, everyone falls for it, a colleague of mine did last week — let's look at the account together so we can both stop worrying."
The steps that actually stop the money leaving
- Gather the evidence before you talk: twelve months of statements, unusual transactions, receipts. Without numbers you get nowhere.
- Talk to the bank. This is the most effective step and the least used: banks have vulnerable customer teams, can flag accounts, block unusual transactions and set up alerts. Ask for an appointment, and ask about adding a trusted contact.
- Reduce the surface: lower daily card and withdrawal limits, text alerts, close unused cards, and consider a second card with a small limit for day-to-day spending.
- Do not move the money yourself without legal authority: you risk turning from protector into suspect.
- Lasting power of attorney for property and financial affairs — registered, and ideally with two attorneys acting jointly so no one person can act alone. If capacity is already gone, apply to the Court of Protection for a deputyship.
- Report it. Raise a safeguarding concern with the local council — financial abuse is safeguarding, and you do not need proof to raise one. Report fraud to Action Fraud, and call 999 if she is in immediate danger. If an existing attorney or deputy is abusing their position, report them to the Office of the Public Guardian, which supervises them and can remove them.
The paid carer situation
This is not suspicion of a profession, it is a matter of rules. A paid carer should not be on the account, should not hold the card, and should not be a beneficiary of a will or policy. Set up a small float with receipts, and make the big purchases yourself. These rules also protect the honest carer, by keeping them clear of suspicion.
The hardest case: a family member
The commonest and the least reported. If a sibling or child with power of attorney is using the account for themselves, ask for written accounts — attorneys are legally required to keep the money separate and to account for it. The Office of the Public Guardian investigates exactly this.
When this becomes a reason to change everything
Financial abuse nearly always travels with isolation, and isolation travels with not eating, not taking medication, not going out. When the person who "takes care of everything" is also the one emptying the account, putting her somewhere with other people around is not only about care: it is protection.
Curalune Care Help (£69) puts together, usually within 24 working hours, a shortlist of 3 to 5 homes matched to the area and budget. For the paperwork — assessments, Attendance Allowance, funding — there is Paperwork Help.
*General information, not legal advice. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.*
