The rule that decides the whole suitcase
In residential aged care laundry goes through an industrial wash: hot water, strong detergent, high-heat dryer. Anything wool, silk, "hand wash only" or "dry clean" will come back shrunk, or will not come back. It is the first thing to know, because it decides what goes in the bag.
So: cotton and hard-wearing synthetics, mid or dark colours (stains show less), and nothing you would be upset to lose.
Clothes: how much and which
- about 7 complete outfits: underwear, socks, tops, trousers or skirts;
- front fastenings: if she needs help dressing, buttons and zips at the front are the difference between dignity and a struggle;
- 2 cardigans and a light jacket;
- closed-back, non-slip shoes — not backless slippers, one of the most banal causes of falls;
- 3 or 4 nighties or pyjamas that open easily;
- everything name-labelled, sewn in or iron-on. Marker fades by the third wash — and in a shared laundry, unlabelled clothing simply disappears.
The paperwork (copies, not originals)
- photo ID, Medicare card, health fund card if any, and her My Aged Care client number;
- medication list with doses and times, and the Webster pack or bottles: hand these to the nurse;
- recent prescriptions, hospital discharge summary, latest results;
- allergies and intolerances on a separate sheet;
- the income and assets assessment outcome from Services Australia and the Resident Agreement paperwork;
- enduring power of attorney / enduring guardianship and the advance care directive naming her substitute decision-maker — bring the actual document, not a description of it;
- contact numbers for two family members, mobiles included.
The things that make the room hers
- photographs with names written on the back — they help her, and they let staff talk to her about her family;
- a recognisable quilt or rug, her own pillow;
- a radio or a player with the music of her twenties;
- a large clock that also shows the day and date;
- a familiar bedside lamp, and a night light;
- if allowed, her own armchair: ask first, for space and fire regulations.
What to leave at home
- jewellery, valuable watches, more than a little cash — and ask for a signed inventory of what came in;
- irreplaceable items;
- heaters, candles, double adaptors: nearly always prohibited, and electrical items often need testing and tagging before use;
- medications in her handbag: they must be managed by the nursing team.
Label glasses, hearing aid (with batteries and charger), dentures and their case as well. These go missing most, and their absence worsens confusion and appetite within days.
The single most useful thing: one page about her life
One sheet, handed to the facility manager on day one: what she did for a living, her children's and grandchildren's names, what she likes to be called, what time she wakes, how she takes her tea, what calms her, what frightens her, what she likes talking about.
It is the most underrated tool families have and the one staff use most: it turns her from "the lady in room 12" into a person with a history.
The first day: the classic mistakes
- Arrive in the morning, not at 6pm — shift handover, and sundowning building;
- do not all come at once: two people, not eight;
- unpack with her and hang the photographs *before* you leave;
- do not stay all day: staff need to build their own relationship with her;
- say goodbye short and identical: "I'll be back Wednesday."
Before you go, ask: who her named carer or clinical contact is, what number to call after hours, how the laundry works, what is charged as an additional service and what is included, and the details of the free advocacy service (OPAN) — before you need it.
And for what comes next: the first weeks settling into aged care.
Curalune Care Help (A$109) puts together, usually within 24 business hours, a shortlist of 3 to 5 homes that fit, with direct contacts and the questions to ask.
*General information. Every home has its own rules: ask for their official list before buying anything.*